My psychic experience...?

For years I've wanted to see a psychic, ever since I saw what fun Whoopi Goldberg had in the movie GHOST with Patrick Swazie, so when a girlfriend of mine told me hers was amazing I had to go, despite the fact she lives on 6000 west, when I called for an appointment she said wednesday would work but I should call her before hand to make sure. What?! If shes so psychic shouldn't she know if it would work for her? I'm not psychic but I have the good sense to carry a day planner!
So one hour before my appointment I called and no answer, then 30 min before, again no answer, so after much deliberation I locked my car doors, and hopped on the 80 heading west, when I got off on the 5600 west exit it was a whole different energy than what I was used to in my east side habitat, and I couldn't help think "maybe she can see spirits because shes so much closer to hell down here!" Once I arrived the door was open and it smelt like patchouli, whatever, I was down here and there was no turning back, she was actually quite normal looking and pleasant and I felt bad for making fun of her neighborhood, then I thought "what if she knows what I was thinking about and puts a curse on me!?" But I had to know if I would marry Hugh Jackman! So I went in and sat down at a dinning table my parents gave to the salvation army in 1982, talk about a spiritual connection!
Right off she told me my deceased mother was my guardian angel and had been by my side since the day she passed away. Whoa, she nailed that! Then she said my hair looked great! 2 in a row, she was on fire!! I was hooked. We spoke of more spiritual matters and hair care products, then she dropped a bomb and said, " In 5 years you will get married to a woman and have twins..." I was speechless. Now everyone knows I'm a big Homo so this is when I chimned in with "Are we both having an affair with the pool boy?" She didn't laugh. Further more we would be in love and have 4 children total. Can you imagine? I hope she looks good in a tux because I'll be in a Vera Wang gown walking down the aisle on our wedding day!!
After more talk, some making sense and some not, her Final thought of the day was This; That I was a writer, and a good one at that! And that I needed to keep writing alot and I would one day be famous for it. Damn her! She was back in my good graces and I gave her a big tip. I wonder if she knew I would write this blog about her, maybe it will make us both famous?