Does this make me look fat? Yes

Now I assume we've all worked retail, when you have that customer coming in at 8:55 and you close at 9, Its been slow for 2 hours, you have the registers counted and almost closed, its the weekend and you have a party to get to, you know the scenario right? If you don't, you are this customer and you can stop reading my blog and go to hell, otherwise continue.

I was in my friends store the other day waiting for him to get off work so we could attend said Party, let me just preface this by saying its a great store and he loves it for the most part, but that night this lady came in wanting clothes for a cruise she was going on, she gave him a sob story about how she works all week and didn't have time to come in until now. Oh I'm so sorry for, but you are going on a cruise and a lot of people work all week sweetheart and manage to shop some other time.
She grabbed a ton of clothes and headed for the dressing rooms even after we both made bitchy faces and I started to tap my foot and adjust my blonde faux hawk in the mirror, most sales people would see a potential good sale, buck it up and smooze her, but that night we weren't having it. So Alex, not his real name, looked at everything at said "Wow size 12's huh?! Might be a bit snug I'll see if we even carry a bigger size" I about died I could believe it! We all want to say it but he really did, she really wasn't that big, but I got his clue, and I knew it was ON! She came out in the first outfit, here is how the conversation went

Alex: "It just makes you look pregnant the way it drapes"

Me: " Huh, it really does, your not are you?"

Stupid Lady: What, No, I'm 50 I couldn't possibly be..."

Me: Interrupting "... your only in your fifties, Huh? well try another one"

Next outfit

Alex: "I just cant believe how ill fitting that is, and you look So washed out, and we have good lighting in here imagine how you would look in daylight and on a cruise ship no less, no place to hide there"

I was laughing so hard in my head I could barely muster up a line, but I regained my composure,
Me: "Ya, I was on a cruise a few months ago and everything shows, not on me mind you I looked great, but on others, You really shouldn't even be here, you should be working out"

Alex to Me: Oh and she should get a tan at the place you love so much with the spray on..."

Me: "What! I don't use a spray on tan this is natural tone, I'm part European!"

Lady: "Oh Its a european cruise Im going on..."

Me; "Uh Huh, I cant believe you think that, I only tan a little to even me out before the season begins... Whateve, lets focus on Energies on Your Client who's here Now," he clearly hear the contempt in my voice, how could he have not, even the mannequins heard it

Alex: "Well I wish I could help, but you may want to reconsider the cruise, good luck!"

At this point I walked away figuring we had caused enough damage and I wanted to check my tan lines in the 360 degree mirror, I assume she bought things or Not, I truly don't care, but the whole thing was a dream come true, it's sad She had to be the one person to take our bashing for all people like her all over the world, but keep in mind your laughing right now, wishing you could do the same, really we did a justice for the world