Sexy Boy Sunday

This week the theme is Boys Enjoying the Sun,

Miss Work Out 2008! And Perhaps 2009?

This Crazy Tranny won some tacky pageant, but she has nothing on me, I was Miss Work Out 2008!! And I have a much bigger tiara, suck on that Tranny!! Keep reading for the full story


I was in a boot camp themed work out class last spring and here's the funny thing, I've actually been to boot camp. Yup I know, crazy right? I have the papers and ID to prove it, but we did things in this work out I Never did at boot camp, and vice versa, for instance I never gave or got a blow job in this class.
The work out was at sugarhouse park at 7 am and run by a gay guy and a girl, so I thought I could get through it alright I was even bragging how I worked out 5 times a week (followed by a bottle of vodka when I got home), so they began by passing out this exercise "equipment" that looks like a sash contestants in pageants wear, its 8" X 50" and made of gray plastic, its used for stretching and such, of course I had other ideas!!
At first it was scarf as we ran around the park, a belt as we did the barbwire mine crawl, then a shawl covering my head from the sun as we did push ups, and finally a sash as we rounded the corner to our finish line, I was crowned miss workout 2008 and I have been invited back to claim my title this year!! OH and here is a pic of me and the runners up


Oh just kidding thats not me, its just a pic of my previous lovers

This is me, God I was in great shape!

Slutty or Sexually successful?

A few weeks ago at a BBQ, I was telling an amusing story about a very crazy and successful party weekend in San Francisco, when a friend told me I was slutty, I wasn't about to take that from that Hooker, or let him have the spotlight, so I told him I prefer the term Sexually successful, the crowd broke out in laughter AND he looked stupid, missions accomplished! Everyone thought it was the greatest thing they had ever heard. But seriously I've hooked up with a lot of Hot guys and some how never picked up a single disease, that by definition is sexual success, is it not?

I know...

I know I have been writing less and just posting pictures of Hot guys, please hookers don't act like you don't Love it, I will get back to it soon, work is busy, Darrin and I are hitting the gym nearly everyday, and of course I have to see and been seen around the neighborhood with my new hot gym body, I sit on the front yard pretending to weed while hot guys walk past again and again, Love this area!! I have never been so happy as I am living here with Darrin as a roomie, in the gayest gayborhood of them all! Anyway stay tuned for more posts soon and vote on my newest poll "where should I move?"

Random Hottness

What I plan on looking like in 2 months, I've been going to the gym 5 days a week people!!


And for those of you that haven't seen me for a while, this is the new look shaved head and all, I was more scared to shave my head then when I came out of the closet, crazy right?! Its so liberating, thanks to Darrin who did it for me and was so supportive, and thank you to all the hot guys who have hit on me with the new butch look, yes bitches I can look butch!


Loving IT!!! So easy & So masculine yet chic

Pondering at 9th & 9th

Where should I set my sights? Vote at the poll to the right

Seattle


San Diego


Or New York?


As much as I want to live in warm weather New york is calling me at the moment

Inaprop

Inaprop. Know it. Love it. Use It.
Short for inappropriate
Pronounced in-a-prope' with a silent e,
Still not sure how were going to spell it
Ernie brought this from LA and I couldn't Love it more. I used it for the first time after Ernie let out a giant burp after the Fabulous BBQ at Bob and Dave's, I felt like everything he had taught me about being a lady was a lie, I felt betrayed and bewildered, so I believe it was justly used, inaprop Ernie, inaprop indeed.

Auntie Ernie...

This pic has nothing to do with Ernie but he'll love it.


Ernie was the first gay guy I ever met, I knew this because it was the first thing he told me.
I was 17, working at a movie theatre and wasn't out yet, Ernie taught me it was alright to be gay but never pushed it down my throat, no pun intended, he was understanding, was always there to answer questions, help me buy porn and show me the gay spots in the city.
I hadn't seen Ernie for over 10 years until this weekend, he found me on facebook and was in town to pick up his son, who just finished his first year at harvard. It was like no time had passed and within minutes we were laughing like school girls, Honestly. He told me how good I looked, True, and told me how funny the blog was, True again. We compared stories about hearts we had broken, Bitches who broke ours, party days and parties gone wrong, Its so funny how friends can go through such similar events thousands of miles away and out of contact, talking to him made me feel alive and renewed, like a girl of 17 again, everyone should have an Ernie. Stay tuned for stories about our weekend, featuring;

Fire Pie,

InaPrope' (short for inapropriate)

Slutty or Just Sexually Successful ?

Sexy Boy Sunday

GAY 101

I may make that the new title of the blog, I had dinner with an old friend tonight, a guy I went to high school with who came out about a year ago, which is hilarious because I knew he was gay 15 years ago in high school, I told him that, he didn't think it was funny. Clearly It was.
He's so new to it all, it was great catching up and while I was there once, I couldn't really relate, well, I could relate on a level of learning and growing, but not what he was going through, I like to think I know what its like to be gay, I've been out for 13 years, he's been out for 1 and he isn't even out to everyone, to me that's not even being out, I said something to the effect "...Oh god I would never date someone who wasn't totally out and still in gay adolescence ..." Instantly I saw a change in his face, and while I felt slightly bad because I'm human, I'm also an adult and realized he need to hear it, but I thought, do I know what it is to be gay and date? I should, I've dated a lot of guys (and by dated I mean Fucked, and by guys I mean hundreds) he also talked about how he's mature and has his shit together, this made me realize just because you "have your shit together" doesn't mean your not also a Hot Tranny Mess in other areas, so maybe I'm not the professor of Gay 101 and believe me thats fine, but let me just say This about That, I WAS Smart enough to take Gay 101 in high school and not in my thirties Bitches.

My. Thoughts. Exactly.

Yeah

I love writing on here and being witty for all of you, but sometimes its just easier to post pics of hot guys and remark on them, Enjoy

Delicious!!

I asked one of many Chris' I know what he thought of the blog, he simply said "needs more porn" but this is not Doug's Dirty Porn Site, thats my other site and I'm posting on it right after this! So hopefully these nearly naked Hot Boys will suffice, and by boys I mean men age 18 and over. And while I want a body like all of these guys, they are at the gym right now, while I'm eating a Nutella rice krispie treat on the sofa, Enjoy




I Rock a deep V neck like nobody's business, but Hello chesty!!




OH JESUS!! What I wouldn't give to see these 2 play a game of naked pitch fork, see below...



Ghetto sexy, love it!! makes me want a tattoo Real Bad


Please this Bitch is so air brushed



THIS Is Naked Pitch fork and while its very sexy it never ends well, ask to see the scars on my back, true story!!



His name is Chad and he's ruined all other men for me...



...Except THIS GUY,

Introducing, Prudence Goodwife

I have two confidants who want to do Bi-weekly posts on Doug's Dirty Dish, the first is Prudence Goodwife. Her posts will be titled; Plagues of Sin, The Devil In Society. She is a Christian in the truest sense of the word, and a dear friend of mine, I hope you'll love her as much as I do.

I have a new found love of guys with Buzzed hair

No this is not me, I wish, but I have been working out alot

Sexy Boy Sunday

SLC Buzz...

...not the team Bitches, I Buzzed my Head and it will be the talk of SLC!! It's so Hot, I Love it! I'll post pics this week

Will & Grace starring Jack & Karen

I Damn Love this show! Watching re-runs with Darrin, laughing our asses off!! I forget how much like Jack I am and how much like Karen I used to be!
It's on Lifetime 4 times a day check it out, again

4 of hearts

General Meaning: The suit often named Cups is also referred to as Chalices or Hearts. It represents the emotional and psychic aspects of life -- fantasy, imagination, feelings, and love.

A Four in this suit refers to a restless time when a person may have become emotionally uncomfortable and dissatisfied with life. Feeling stagnated and longing for change, the heart ponders its options -- as it should.

CAN I GET AN AMEN!?!



In sex and the city, carries love interest picks up a random playing card, he finds them all over the city and almost has a whole deck, I was tempted and loved the sentiment

At The Grove

caught my eye

At the park today, a few things caught my eye, this tree was practically glowing, so stunning

Does this make me look fat? Yes

Now I assume we've all worked retail, when you have that customer coming in at 8:55 and you close at 9, Its been slow for 2 hours, you have the registers counted and almost closed, its the weekend and you have a party to get to, you know the scenario right? If you don't, you are this customer and you can stop reading my blog and go to hell, otherwise continue.

I was in my friends store the other day waiting for him to get off work so we could attend said Party, let me just preface this by saying its a great store and he loves it for the most part, but that night this lady came in wanting clothes for a cruise she was going on, she gave him a sob story about how she works all week and didn't have time to come in until now. Oh I'm so sorry for, but you are going on a cruise and a lot of people work all week sweetheart and manage to shop some other time.
She grabbed a ton of clothes and headed for the dressing rooms even after we both made bitchy faces and I started to tap my foot and adjust my blonde faux hawk in the mirror, most sales people would see a potential good sale, buck it up and smooze her, but that night we weren't having it. So Alex, not his real name, looked at everything at said "Wow size 12's huh?! Might be a bit snug I'll see if we even carry a bigger size" I about died I could believe it! We all want to say it but he really did, she really wasn't that big, but I got his clue, and I knew it was ON! She came out in the first outfit, here is how the conversation went

Alex: "It just makes you look pregnant the way it drapes"

Me: " Huh, it really does, your not are you?"

Stupid Lady: What, No, I'm 50 I couldn't possibly be..."

Me: Interrupting "... your only in your fifties, Huh? well try another one"

Next outfit

Alex: "I just cant believe how ill fitting that is, and you look So washed out, and we have good lighting in here imagine how you would look in daylight and on a cruise ship no less, no place to hide there"

I was laughing so hard in my head I could barely muster up a line, but I regained my composure,
Me: "Ya, I was on a cruise a few months ago and everything shows, not on me mind you I looked great, but on others, You really shouldn't even be here, you should be working out"

Alex to Me: Oh and she should get a tan at the place you love so much with the spray on..."

Me: "What! I don't use a spray on tan this is natural tone, I'm part European!"

Lady: "Oh Its a european cruise Im going on..."

Me; "Uh Huh, I cant believe you think that, I only tan a little to even me out before the season begins... Whateve, lets focus on Energies on Your Client who's here Now," he clearly hear the contempt in my voice, how could he have not, even the mannequins heard it

Alex: "Well I wish I could help, but you may want to reconsider the cruise, good luck!"

At this point I walked away figuring we had caused enough damage and I wanted to check my tan lines in the 360 degree mirror, I assume she bought things or Not, I truly don't care, but the whole thing was a dream come true, it's sad She had to be the one person to take our bashing for all people like her all over the world, but keep in mind your laughing right now, wishing you could do the same, really we did a justice for the world

Clearly Doug's Dirty Dish is the winner!

While I've not yet started the site and the polls are officially still open everyone has told me they like this the best, and I have bought the domain name, so check it out in a few days maybe a week! Thanks to everyone who voted, and please stay with me on this blog, I promise to keep it updated

He is the one person living or dead I would want to have lunch with, and sleep with

I WOSHIP TOM FORD, HE IS A FASHION & BUSINESS GENIOUS! If by some chance you don't know him. You are of course dead to me. google him. Know him. Love him. Also I have his book if you want to see it, the best 250 buck's I ever spent. EVER.

3 boys in a photo booth

I just came across these picture's I think it was my first trip to seattle, we were at a bar and they had this photo booth, we were all Trashed! Its amazing all our clothes were on. On a side note I miss my dark hair, but not so much being trashed

Catching up with Heath...

Let me just say I love Heath, if anyone loves to dish about Hot Tranny Mess's and laugh about horrible fashion and design as much as me, it's Heath, we had a quick dinner, saw the new things he has in has Fabulous house, we talked about my break up, his husband, my new diggs & how much we both want to live in San Diego. I know I have been moved and single for a while now but I haven't seen him since the Ethan Allen grand opening, and speaking of Ethan Allen, I'm going to go by Douglas Alan from now on, I've wanted a name change for a while now and it will be easy since its my middle name, no legal fuss or paperwork and it has a good ring to it, anyway back to our dinner. Heath and his husband are the gays we all want to be like, young, cute, happily together for 5 years, making good money, traveling the world, shopping all the time. One more thing about Heath he always says "Ciao" when we say our good bye's, he lived in Italy for sometime, perhaps he can be a contributor on my new site, thanks for a great dinner sweetheart, Ciao

The Poll's are closing soon

I must say I'm a little upset that not many people voted, I asked a friend what she voted for. She hadn't. She didn't even realize I had quizzes on here, read my entries people don't just look at the pictures!!! So regarding my quizzes, I probably won't be shaving my head but I will go dark soon and I will get a tattoo but not for a couple month's seeing as how it will be around a thousand dollars. I don't know what the web name is going to be just yet, but the good news is Mr. Eppich, my PR guy, want's to do a weekly post on the site and he is almost as funny as I.

Sexy Boy Sunday, my newest feature

I just love these guys! So. Hot.

Such a great kiss

I told you I would be at the gym with camera in hand