Caddy bitches and people who don't know better...

For those of you who don't know I recently resigned from my job, TA-DA!!! This is what people expect me to say after I say this, people are shocked, like i was a permanent fixture at that tacky store, that's partly why i left, so let me say This about That I was so sick of my fucking job and old, caddy, menopausal women I wanted to slit my wrists, literally, Its the reason I started drinking So much, I hate design right now, if you see me on the street don't ask me a design question or you may cause me to start drinking again, I went to a party tonight and I spoke with two kinds of people 1-Caddy Bitches and 2-people who clearly don't know me very well and didn't know any better.

Some dumb bitch works at a furniture store that is always on the verge of bankruptcy and she proceeded to tell me she had the best quarter of her life, this year, Bitch please I'm not stupid, were in a recession, and i can see the stress of your lies in your wrinkles and you've got a bad bleach job, I spit on her tacky shoes and walked away, example 2 a guy I dated for 2 minutes a couple years ago told me i hoped i was happy, which i am, and that he just wanted me to be a designer and be happy, was he fucking kidding me, did he hear a word i said, I hate design, Im sick of it, Im happy not having a stressful job, however I liked him more that the tacky bitch so i hugged him let myself out of the party and deleted his number,

People don't understand me, I have COMPLETELY changed who I am in the last year and i don't know these people anymore, and they don't know me, I was never the person they think I was, is it my fault? am I that good at putting on a show? or was i that messed up, i had some need to impress them?

"...you should date mormon girls..."

"...and do things like Ice Blocking..."

I was speechless. That is something that has only happened to me maybe 5 times in my entire life.

I was in a class recently and I had asked if anyone was single and how how was dating going since i was recently single, I thought it was a pretty easy question and having met me i assumed they all knew I was gay, apparently not.

One girl said "oh that's easy you just need to date mormon girls"

Wait What!? I tried to say the words but they wouldn't come out, I didn't even know where to start!!

girl #2 " ...and do things you wouldn't normally do like go Ice blocking..."

Again i tried to say something but my jaw just hung their in mid air, I thought surely I just hallucinated and these idiots were not talking to me, Dougie Fresh. but they were i think i must have passed out because i dont remember how that class ended.

I still have no idea what Ice Blocking is and will never try it, but i cant help but assume if mormon girls are doing it, thats why there up tight, frigid bitches.

From A to Shoes, A brief gay history...

I dated someone recently, newly out of the closet, and he didn't know anything about being gay, he wore bad shoes, didn't know how to get his hair cut and didn't know anything about sex, poor thing didn't have a clue, luckily he had me and I know everything about being gay from A to shoes, so to speak;

First on my list, Anal sex: I'll keep this short as to not offend anyone (not that i typically care about that) but anyone who has been there knows what I'm talking about, it takes preparation.

next on my list, Jewelry He thought it cool to wear, what I call "Fag jewelry", I don't approve of much jewelry on a man, it needs to be tasteful, refined and contain No Jewels, therefore not making it jewelry, see how that works? we've all been there, you want to make a statement, I'm sure their are pics out there of me in similar things but i was 19, not 27 as I am now.

Restaurant's, he had this down he knew what places were Fab and what to order, his saving grace!

Shoes, he wore the Worst shoes! Things you could go hunting in, I assume, clunky things that were worn and...oh god i get a little queezy just picturing them again, and the strange thing is he had good taste in clothes for the most part, expensive jeans ect.

Alright so this goes past shoes but is equally important, Underwear, Lets break this down right now, Hanes or G's or anything worn is never, ever, appropriate if your trying to get laid, their not sexy or interesting or flattering, go online or to your local gay shop and get something colorful and bold and maybe a jock strap too, thats always sexy.

Returning to my roots, Literally...

Speaking to a fan earlier today she said, "You know I could have gotten pregnant and had a baby in the time span since you wrote your last blog, whats the Problem?!" I wish she had instead of that stupid he/she who was on oprah, more on that later, heres the story with me...

...Once again my life is at a crossroads, I've taken a new job with a major fashion house, I've moved and I'm Blonde again (see picture above) those of you who have only known me a short while only know me with black or dark hair, but have been primarily blonde my whole life, more about that later..So i resigned from my job and took a job with a great company I can travel with seeing as how I dont want to be in salt lake city or Utah much longer, Im very excited about all the changes, and when i see old friends they about pass out and ask me " why all the changes and so drastically..." well I've always said larger than life is just the right size!