One day you realize...

As I near the passage way to my thirties, Their are certain things I'm realizing I need...Well not actually NEED, as I buy anything I want, But things I should have and do, break off the shackles of irresponsible adolescence and become an adult, for instance cooking and having actual cookwear. I realize a lot of people are good at cooking and do it often, not that I cant do it, I just Don't. Being happily Single, Busy and Fabulous, I eat out almost every meal of everyday. It's easy, and I love good food, getting dressed up and trying new restaurants.

But today was different, I was enjoying a leisurely afternoon and evening reading, watching movies and admiring all my weekend purchases, when I had a growling in my flat, toned tummy, since it was a lazy Sunday I decided to run down to my favorite take out Mexican place, instead of going anywhere fancy. But as I stepped outside it was incredibly snowy, which made me question again why I chose to live in Utah, but figured it was a question for another day, and I would just make the short drive to get my food. It wasn't a short drive, but a slow one. The roads were pure Ice, even large trucks were moving at glacial speeds, luckily I am a great driver, and my jetta really is a snow car, eventually I made it to the intersection where the restaurant was only to see it was closed, Luckily there was a great Chinese restaurant at the same intersection...that was also closed. In fact the whole area was closed, because the power was out.

I was without food, I didn't want to drive any further and I had nothing at the house, except maybe granola from wild oats I had purchased only because the packaging was adorable, but surely any milk I had would be bad by now.

So after a long, slow drive back to my place I sit here knowing, that for Christmas, I'm going to Williams Sonoma, and buying myself a set of pots and pans and coordinating accessories, So the next time this happens, or say, I want to impress my future husband by cooking him a gourmet meal I'll at least have the accessories.

But where does one go for designer food?

The Lemon Pepper Diet, You've Got To Try IT!!

We've all seen the soup commercial with those overly excited women yelling at their friends about how they lost pound after flabby pound on "...the chicken noodle diet, you've got to try it!!"

I hate them, we've all tried chicken noodle soup Bitches! Until Brittany Spears or Anna Nicole start raving about soup diets, keep them the hell away from me.

However for years my dear friend Darrin (who's fabo art work I have hanging proudly in my place) has kept in great shape by exercising and eating lots of vegetables and Chicken. Lemon Pepper Chicken. He used to make it for his family as much as 4 night a week, but his partner Grant never listened, dismissing Darrins great physique (I would know, we once did a photo shoot together in speedo's in citi creek, Literally in the freezing cold Creek, But I'll save this story for another blog.) on genetics and eating fast food, greasy, fattening fast food. Until one day he wanted to lose weight and started to work out and eat better, when he went to his trainer, the trainer told him to eat grilled chicken, so he does for days, chicken for dinner every night for weeks, he has trimmed down, looks great and is much happier. But alas he grew tired of eating plain chicken, so he went back to his trainer and guess what his trainer said, "if you get tired of chicken you can put lemon pepper on it." Wow! lemon pepper who knew!? Apparently someone near and dear to grants heart, His trainer.

Have we met?

Picture it. Sicily, 1932, on a cold rainy night... Wait that's not me, that was Sophia on the Golden Girls, Forgive me, It's on Lifetime Television 14 times a day so sometimes I get confused, Butt it happens to the best of us, right?

Picture it; The gym, My gym, just days ago...
I was feeling full of energy one night and since my Trainer (of death) had put me on a tight workout schedule, and taken all the fun out of eating and getting drunk, I decided to go to the Gym, After 45 minutes of cardio and some sit ups I was very proud of myself and was sure Andrew (Trainer of Death) would be as well. It was time for some much needed sauna time, I went into the lockeroom to change, when I bent over to put on my trunks for the sauna, Right behind me I heard " Hey Johnny..." feeling vulnerable in my naked state I stood up and turned around to see some strange man behind me with a "Hey man, good to see you" look on his face, turn to a "Oh god, I'm stupid" look on his face, Then he said "Oh sorry man, I thought you were someone else" in a rather sheepish voice. Apparently I have a familiar look from the back! I still don't know how to feel about this encounter, But have since met Johnny and can Say I don't see the resemblance.

How could I have known?

Recently I was checking out a friends new fabulous condo, when I saw a picture of his college rugby team (YUMMY). I decided to play "Yes/No" with said picture, for those of you who don't know what Yes/No is I'll explain, Featured on Sex and the City, you say yes or no to guys you'd sleep with, you can play this at a cafe or walking through the mall or say, on a picture of a rugby team, after several "Yes!"s and only 3 No's I sat the picture down and another caught my eye, It was a picture of my friend and his friends at the prom with their dates, they all looked so cute in their tuxedo's and corsages, "Mike," I said "You look cute, But your Date's Hair is HORRIBLE!" I followed this comment with the kind of face a cat makes when choking on a hair ball, assuming it was just bad high school hair that everyone has in prom pictures, I expected laughs and a long conversation about high school hair over drinks in his new hot tub, instead mike threw a wrench in my plans and said, "Thats my MOM, at my sisters wedding last year, YOU ASSHOLE!!"
Most people would have been Mortified and apologetic. Being the Ice queen I am, I was of course Neither and simply said what was on my mind, which was " Well has she changed it since then?! " She Hadn't.
There were of course no laughs or drinks in the hot tub, But Mike and I are talking again and I am working on smuggling both pictures onto my blog, so stay tuned.

The top TEN reasons why Spence (and everybody else) Loves me

Why my good friend spence has waged a blog war on me I'll never know. Well read on, here are the 10 reasons spence loves me!!

#10 I drove with him from Salt Lake to Seattle and stayed in haunted hotels when I could have been on a climate controled transcontinental air line. I do indeed have him covered like a jimmy hat, a very tall, young and slender jimmy hat!

#9 I'm the most Stylish Bitch I know, and I know alot of people.Period. End of sentence.

#8 Everytime I visit seattle I help him pick out Fabo furniture for his penthouse and never once have I charged him a design fee!

#7 I do have a great sense of humor, I'm super fun!! Ask anyone who knows me. ANY OF THEM.

#6 Because Spence and I are twins seperated at birth, And were always there for each other. Like the time he told me I rely to much on my Hair, and that we were not on Americas Next Top Hair Model.

#5 Because I would never eat at alberto's. And there aren't pictures to prove otherwise.

#4 Because I've never told anyone about the time he had diareah at Alberto... Wait, What.

#3 I'm Hella fine.

#2 MAD Photogenic.

#1 And Rockin 1 leg. So take a walk bitches 'cause I cant.

Kisses.

If Madonna can write a childrens book so can I!!

I have a fictional friend who does Mad drugs, one day in seattle I saw him doing this...


Which led me to a little of this...


which led me to a little of this (I'm the one in the dress, don't my legs look great!)


Which according to the news led to this...Oopsie!


Which ended up alright because it led to a little of this, Hello Mr. firefighter!


What do you think? Let me know
Madonna if your reading this don't get angry, I love your work!

Pay back is a Bitch!

Whomever coined the phrase "One good turn deserve's another" is a genious!
I Now fullly understand the complexity of that phrase. For those of you who dont know what I'm talking about... Let's not kid around you've all seen me on spence's blog chowing on a moons over my hammy!! I think this picture says it all. Payback is indeed a Bitch.
Love you spence, Kisses!