The Lemon Pepper Diet, You've Got To Try IT!!

We've all seen the soup commercial with those overly excited women yelling at their friends about how they lost pound after flabby pound on "...the chicken noodle diet, you've got to try it!!"

I hate them, we've all tried chicken noodle soup Bitches! Until Brittany Spears or Anna Nicole start raving about soup diets, keep them the hell away from me.

However for years my dear friend Darrin (who's fabo art work I have hanging proudly in my place) has kept in great shape by exercising and eating lots of vegetables and Chicken. Lemon Pepper Chicken. He used to make it for his family as much as 4 night a week, but his partner Grant never listened, dismissing Darrins great physique (I would know, we once did a photo shoot together in speedo's in citi creek, Literally in the freezing cold Creek, But I'll save this story for another blog.) on genetics and eating fast food, greasy, fattening fast food. Until one day he wanted to lose weight and started to work out and eat better, when he went to his trainer, the trainer told him to eat grilled chicken, so he does for days, chicken for dinner every night for weeks, he has trimmed down, looks great and is much happier. But alas he grew tired of eating plain chicken, so he went back to his trainer and guess what his trainer said, "if you get tired of chicken you can put lemon pepper on it." Wow! lemon pepper who knew!? Apparently someone near and dear to grants heart, His trainer.

Have we met?

Picture it. Sicily, 1932, on a cold rainy night... Wait that's not me, that was Sophia on the Golden Girls, Forgive me, It's on Lifetime Television 14 times a day so sometimes I get confused, Butt it happens to the best of us, right?

Picture it; The gym, My gym, just days ago...
I was feeling full of energy one night and since my Trainer (of death) had put me on a tight workout schedule, and taken all the fun out of eating and getting drunk, I decided to go to the Gym, After 45 minutes of cardio and some sit ups I was very proud of myself and was sure Andrew (Trainer of Death) would be as well. It was time for some much needed sauna time, I went into the lockeroom to change, when I bent over to put on my trunks for the sauna, Right behind me I heard " Hey Johnny..." feeling vulnerable in my naked state I stood up and turned around to see some strange man behind me with a "Hey man, good to see you" look on his face, turn to a "Oh god, I'm stupid" look on his face, Then he said "Oh sorry man, I thought you were someone else" in a rather sheepish voice. Apparently I have a familiar look from the back! I still don't know how to feel about this encounter, But have since met Johnny and can Say I don't see the resemblance.

How could I have known?

Recently I was checking out a friends new fabulous condo, when I saw a picture of his college rugby team (YUMMY). I decided to play "Yes/No" with said picture, for those of you who don't know what Yes/No is I'll explain, Featured on Sex and the City, you say yes or no to guys you'd sleep with, you can play this at a cafe or walking through the mall or say, on a picture of a rugby team, after several "Yes!"s and only 3 No's I sat the picture down and another caught my eye, It was a picture of my friend and his friends at the prom with their dates, they all looked so cute in their tuxedo's and corsages, "Mike," I said "You look cute, But your Date's Hair is HORRIBLE!" I followed this comment with the kind of face a cat makes when choking on a hair ball, assuming it was just bad high school hair that everyone has in prom pictures, I expected laughs and a long conversation about high school hair over drinks in his new hot tub, instead mike threw a wrench in my plans and said, "Thats my MOM, at my sisters wedding last year, YOU ASSHOLE!!"
Most people would have been Mortified and apologetic. Being the Ice queen I am, I was of course Neither and simply said what was on my mind, which was " Well has she changed it since then?! " She Hadn't.
There were of course no laughs or drinks in the hot tub, But Mike and I are talking again and I am working on smuggling both pictures onto my blog, so stay tuned.